Can't sleep, housemates will eat me. (when it rains it pours)

So here I am writing vertically in my room, completely bottomed out. REally, I haven't felt so low since high school, and believe me if you knew me through year 8,9,10 you should know that that was indeed a dark fucking hole in my life.
Yeah I'm back there, back in the hole.

It's the night I confirms my monthlong paranoid fear that my housemates were indeed out to get me because I am, in my own words, a high maintenance fuckup with nothing but trouble for them. The worst thing is, the monster of my mind that I thought I had tamed years ago, all the barbs,stings and verbal punches they haveused on me all point to that monster being at large.

For those who don't know, I'm a dyspraxic, I have both motor and Developmental Dyspraxia (which for a quick blurb, see US NINDS For a better description, see Wikipedia ). It permeates it's way through my life like some invisible python, striking when I've got my back turned. Think you've got fine motor skills down? OH NO! THERE GOES A PLATE WITH FOOD. Think you've remembered something, something that you only needed to remember maybe for half a day? OH NO, WHERE DID THAT MEMORY GO? OOPSIES. Irregular routines? YOU MISSED A STEP.Quick what did you have for breakfast? YOU CAN'T.  Time management and logical processing? HA. Social Abilities? NOT TODAY SON. Sometimes it ain't a problem ,you know? You can get through a day, a week a month, fine, nothing goes wrong, then BAM. Right in the face, a week where everything that makes dyspraxia such a nightmare to live with comes haunting from high. You'll forget a bus, drop a plate, spill a cup, forget to lock a door, not manage a social interaction, find an exam you won't be able to write more than 5 minutes of without suffering debilitating hand pain, Trip and fuck up your nice smart business pants, misjudge someone's intentions and then to top it all off find out that all your friends now hate you because of it, and they want you out.

Like they say, when it rains, it pours. Goddamn is it pouring today. Could really do with an umbrella, or some understanding, Either or.