Unlike most people on the earth, I knew from the outset that 2008 was going t be a mediocre year... and I was not dissappointed. As a token gesture to the year that saw the release of more 3rd person shooters with cover than actual FPS es (further enforcing my hatred for Gears of War and all Space Marines ever), I'd like to hand out a few awards.
The Toadie Awards for Incredible Feats during the year -
The Koolaid Award - award for most over hyped thing of the year
OH YEAH. Inaugural award of mine goes to -
The Dark Knight.
Heath Ledger won Best Actor Posthumously? Fuck that. It was alright. Probably the best BATMAN movie, but it certainly wasn't groundbreaking cinematography or performing. And Fucking Batman needs a throat lozenge. It gave the franchise the venom and vodka induced reboot it needed, much in the same vein as Casino Royale in that respect.
Runners up - Treyarch for the Quantum of Solace Game. You couldn't have told the story of the movie worse if you were not briefed on either of the new Bond movies at all and instead were fed Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Also, you guys need to finish the bloody game off.
The EA award - for keeping poor schleps paying for mediocre content year after year.
This year, not going to EA for once. Instead, it's going to THREE nominees -
Blizzard Activision and Treyarch - For Call of Duty World at War. You could have put out an Expansion Pack for the little amount of SP and MP innovation that World at War introduces. Flamethrowers and coop mode + WW2 do not a long lasted game make. At least roll the coop back to COD4 at some point please.
The ZugZug Award -for being 100% predictable in every respect.
Two winners for this award-
Firstly, Blizzard Activision for WoW:Wrath of the Lich King. Delivering EXACTLY what I predicted you would - More WoW, delayed Starcraft 2 ( Warcraft 1 in Space - 2)and more delayed Diablo 3(Diablo 1 Remastered).WoW 3 - Wrath of the Lich King. This time, throw more dots.
Secondly , the US money lenders, for trashing the US economy with sub-prime mortgages. HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE SEEN THAT THEY WERE NOT GOING TO PAY YOU BACK? SERVES YOU RIGHT, NOW YOU ARE BANKRUPT. HAR HAR HAR.
The Ubisoft Award - This award recognises services to the destruction of reliable brands, genres, or franchises.
This year's Winner once again is Ubisoft for making another contribution to the blamange swamp with YET another batch of atrocities to the Tom Clancy name. Good going guys. It was bad enough that you made ONE Vegas Game, you didn't need to make ANOTHER one, and you most certainly didn't need to recycle shit as much as you did. EndWar, despite being a decent strategy game, still makes me tick. You better not screw up HAWX.
The Left for Dead award- award for making something technologically mighty at the expense of everything else.
My last award goes to the outstanding money suckers at Valve for Left4Dead for designing a technically brilliant, and in theory good hooter, that in actuality I find quite boring and short on..stuff.. for the price it is going retail for. Genuinely pleased with the overcharging and hyping there. Way to shaft it.]
So , 2009 is now underway, and with it , comes a tonne of expectations for the year. I myself hold very few. Probably nickel and diming will go up on games, and the price of literally everything will rise again a few more times. Nothing Spectacular I can see on the horizon that tickles my fancy, so I shall see and when I see something I shall let you internoses know.
Because you smell and sniff data, you don't see or hear it. Not on the Internet.
OH, Before I forget and Sign out -
If you missed it in December -
www.svencoop.com - Sven Coop 4 beta is out. I did a tonne of stuff for it, so go check it out. Beware, there are bugs, check the forums for temp fixes.
and Coming soon - a short webcomic that I drew. and For Hire. I'll keep you guys posted.
