Frank Bilders has come to fuck you up good like

There are many, many MANY first person shooters out there these days. So much so that they almost transcend genres and create their own to get their point across. Ever since the high acclaim successes of Half-life and Deus Ex, however, there has been a lot of focus of throwing "fresh" into a first person shooters. The result - too much divergent thinking, there are a lot of shooters out there that try to innovate with the end result the core mechanics get neglected.

FarCry 2- THE REVIEW

Today, I would like to talk to you about my thoughts on Far Cry 2 and why you should put money on this and not.. say, Fallout 3. There may be comparisons on unfair standings, and this course could be considered biased.That being said, I still suggest you get FarCry 2 over Fallout 3.
Also, any references to Boiling Point: Road to hell that will be no doubt mailed with pictureised hate mail to me will be ignored, largely because it was an FPS RPG ( so any direct comparisons gameplay wise are nastily weighty), and honestly the game was quite TRASH - end of story.

Far Cry 2 is the sequal to the early 2000s WTF-thon shooter, Far Cry. Before anybody asks, no, it shares NOTHING in common with it. Not characters, not setting, not developers, nothing. Is this a bad thing? most certainly not. FarCry was only good for about 2 levels, before it became just ANOTHER corridor shooter, and really at BEST a mediocre shooter for the second half.

Really what they did for Far Cry 2 was go back to the drawing board with the game. They took what was GOOD from the first game (the initial wide open space gamelplay) and they expanded from there. The Result, one of the most positively awesome shooters on the market. Far Cry 2 really is ground-up a shooter, so any comparisons with S.T.A.L.K.E.R or Fallout 3 are largely unfair due to both of them trying to play the RPG elements card to the table in either a minor or major suite.Far Cry does not even bother with trying to sideline the player's trigger and brain connection like that.

The story goes in Far Cry 2 that you are sent into a war torn and scarred African country (that remains nameless for the sake of creativity) trying to get an arms dealer who goes by the alias "The Jackal". Not long after stepping off the plane however, nature gives you a kick in the nuts and you find yourself struck down with the malaria. After getting laid up in a Hotel to recoup, a strange twist of irony finds you face to face with your target. Too weak to even stand, he scares the shit out of you some and leaves.you then find Yourself right in the middle of a civil war between two massive factions full of Africans. Officially quite fucked, this is where the game actually begins.
The premise of the game's plot is quite intriguing, because it isn't pinning you to it. You can in fact ignore the main plot completely if you want, or you can cannonball the plot if you so choose. Both are polar opposites to each other, yet those two options exist, and every one in between. Essentially, I suppose a good comparison would be to look at the GTA series. yeah, the Delinearisation is probably a bit GTA-style, if a A LOT bigger game area and much more open.

With this amount of you'd expect something to be a miss, but there really isn't. The HUGE map, is well populated with detail, enemies and vehicles. The attention to detail in it is truly staggering. No really it is. a 1:1 day/night cycle, incredible procedural tree regrowth and grass propagation, it's a stunning world. This combined with SUPERB Atmospheric audio, the world literally crawls and sprawls with life. It's the closest thing I've ever experienced to a living world inside a game. In fact, the game is good enough is that respect that you can just stop what you're doing, find a nice little unpopulated area and just go exploring. In fact, no, that really is a good option sometimes.
And you know what? nothing stops you doing it. So Awesome.They've just given you 50-100 square kilometers of area and just gone "kill this dude, or don't- kgo". It's choose your own way FPSing.
Naturally, the tech behind this is really quite special, but the thing is it doesn't need a Black monolithic computer to run decently. In fact, a decent mid range rig could handle this game without too much of a hassle, and the visuals scale well, with a tonne of options to tweak the most frames out of your PC settings. Naturally, having a machine that could render the entire of the Death Star scene from Star Wars WOULD be a benefit, but it isn't the price of entry for the game, so all those mid rangers should rejoice.

A game of this category obviously must have some armaments behinds it, and boy does Far Cry 2 deliver in spades. Starting off , you are on a 4 slot system for inventory (your machete, a sidearm, a primary weapon and a special weapon). Each of these categories has between 9 and 12 weapons in it, and they range from standard Assault rifles , SMGs and pistols, to Grenade launchers (there are 2), rocket launchers, Flamethrowers, FLARE PISTOLS and a whole gamut of everything in between. Far cry 2 also has an interesting way of presenting you with weapons too. You can pick weapons off enemies, but you should be careful, because they ARE African and the weapons they carry are in a dilapidated state. In this state, they jam, and increasingly more so as they get worse, and eventually !KB on you (!KB = KABOOM!).However, getting yourself some of the local currency and visiting a weapons dealer, using his little 386 with Green-on-black CRT screen, you can purchase weapons to be permanently available in your storehouse.
Storehouses are adjacent to said weapon dealer's shop, and store all your weapon purchases. This is handy, because you then have clean, working weapons whenever you want them (read- clean guns that don't jam ALWAYS available for infinity). There are several places in the game world which are safe zones, generally, they are the three major towns (where cease-fires have been declared),bars (where you can pick up side missions from), and safehouses. Safehouses were designed as save points for the player, but thanks to quicksave, some of their usefulness is dulled off on the PC version. Still, safehouses are places where you are untouchable, can quickly change out dodgy weapons for new ones,AND as an added bonus, the only place you can sleep (so you can fast forward to a specific time of day to do a mission if you prefer working at certain times of day like I did).
I really would like to go into a whole lot more depth into all the awesome little things in the game mechanics that just make this a joy but I could be here all night. Just suffice in the knowledge they have NAILED FPS mechanics in the most visceral and gratifying way I've ever seen. OH and you have to actually take bullets out of you if you get shot up. Should mention that.

From an art and design point of view, the game has been gone over with a fine tooth comb, and everything has been given specific attention and care, from grass textures, to gun animations, to rock placement. it's all brilliant. As an additional Kudos, the sheer volume of quality audio is amazing, detail in the Audio.. I've never seen so much of it. Sure you could point at several games with plenty of sounds going on (any COD game really), but there isn't the detail to Audio that FarCry 2 has.
The weapon sounds are a livable mix of stuff they kept from when UBi bought RedStorm, and a whole cast of new sounds which are just MEATY. Machineguns have a satisfying thud to them, while assault rifles feel more dakka dakka, but it's all quality. Then there's the sheer volume of atmospheric sound (which I believe I mentioned earlier), the masses of non-important NPC and enemy conversations, and of course the literal truckload of character Dialog from all the characters. It's truly amazing, and Ubisoft Montreal really have to be given credit for it. The game is an aural masterpiece.

Lastly, I'd just like to give a message to Ubi Montreal- "YOU ARE A BUNCH OF CUNTS! LESS THAN 30 minutes before the end of the game! WHY?! D:" Allow me to qualify. Right, basically the way the story goes, I was getting rather attached to a particular character in the game, much more than I've ever felt an attachment to a game character before. Definition of sucking a player into the game world . I felt he could be a friend of mine in the real world, and he was just so damn cool. Anyway, 30minutes before the end of the game's main plot. oh I can't.. that would be spoiling. Trust me though, when you get there and observe what happens, you will understand my message. Yeah, Ubi, Fuck you. That was an uncalled for shot in the pills guys.

Now for the unavoidable comparing to Fallout 3. In my books really impossible to compare the two. They both are trying to accomplish different things. Far Cry 2 wants to be the best shooter, Fallout 3 wants to be better than Oblivion (not hard),STALKER wants to be Russian. However, gun to my head, I'm going to give it a shot.
I don't really like reliance on stats-based accuracy and damage (ie, roll a 3, do 2 damage, to his*roll again*... little finger) of Fallout 3, I don't think it's particularly good for FPSing with, and it results in absurd situations at times, VATS helps, but it's not really where the shootings at.Despite having an actual ballistics physics simulator built into the game, STALKER has about the least logical amounts feeling to all it's weapons. Starting weapons especially feel less like reall guns and more like spreadfire spud guns .Far Cry2's is much more about using your own wits and abilities to get the job done rather than relying on chance and die rolls, and does so with a nice amount of bravado and visceral emphasis.
Fallout 3's world is wide , open, but very much dead and dying. It feels dead, feels decayed, thus it fits with the premise of the game. Stalker's World is just haunting. It's real, but it's dead kinda of reality which makes you crap your pants around every corner in fear of danger. Far Cry 2 the world is about as living as breathing as game worlds get. Sure it may be a horrid place to live in real life, but my god it's just stunning, it's exactly like Africa.
In terms of art, Fallout 3 has that once again disturbing mix of Bethesda's well made characters and art, but with Bethesda's uncanny valley feel because they're too lazy to make people emote with anything more than vague gestures. STALKER read Roadside Picnic one time too many, played the original Fallout once or twice, then had a holiday in Pripyat to see what it was like. Came back, made the game, and the result is probably one of the best renditions of a wasteland. Far Cry2 relies not on heavy power to bring it's art to you, but it does it with enough conviction that by gosh if there was anything flawed, you could never see it.

If you have got to this end of the review, you should know just one thing if you haven;t already purchased FarCry 2 - do it now. You are missing out on potentially the best placement of money one a game this year (yeah, yes, Fallout 3, bla bla Bethesda, bla bla bla, don't care, too many laser rifles not enough satisfying mechanics).
This Game has officially surpassed Duke Nukem 3D as my most satisfying FPS ever. It has everything , looks, freedom, longevity, plenty of hidden stuff, lots of to do, and the most visceral feeling gun play I've ever experienced.
Get it, get it now.

If you're so smart , Explain this Clarissa .. POW!

Speaking strictly off the cards, the world is pretty off center with its usual self lately. Okay okay, so there's a gigantic global financial brouhaha, the environment's going down the gurgler, all sorts of strife everywhere, and now everyone's worrying about SOMALIA... AGAIN. But, when I take a step back, I realise how good the smaller stuff ,all the stuff that is primary in contact to my life, doesn't seem to be going too bad.. so yeah, life is comparatively decent providing you aren't heavily commercializing your life or livelihood, and if you don't hold your breath for Humanity to reverse a literal civilisation or more's worth of ingrained tendencies.

I like to keep it positive, despite knowing well and truly that history repeats.
So what have I been up to?
In short- Kickin' it, keepin it real. Pretty crazy, fo sho etc.

Phew, glad I got THAT out, enough black people impersonating for me.

Nah, I be skankin with my fellow rude boys. Life's been pretty average for at least a a couple of months now, which is a great change from the insanity I was suffering end-of-July.With that kinda shit outta the way, I'm able to get back to focusing on the stuff I want to - my sketching, my 3d modelling, and improving my technique with both. I must say that thanks to incredibly long bus trips I am at least making some breakthrough with that. Unfortunately, creativity does have a tendency to dry up RIGHT as you need it, which is something I'm just going to have to prepare for.

Meat and Cookies over, let's have a look at shit that's happening this week.

First off , A lot of those games I mentioned a few weeks ago in here are almost ALL out, almost ALL of them seem to be of some description pretty decent (there are a few mixed bags coming up).
One game I don't think I mentioned at the time, which after release and launch seems to be a lot more promising than the small amount of information and media for it before release, is Tomb Raider Underworld. The game looks pretty gorgeous, they're really toned Lara Croft into a bloody well toned and much more pleasing main character. Same goes for pretty much ALL the visuals in that game, and if the soundtrack the ingame videos are anything to go by, it's going to be a BLOODY NICE game to just sit and play.

For all those recovering WoW-fags (I have NO apologies for calling ANYONE who plays that miserable excuse for a gaming experience) who managed to just wean yourself off your electronic heroin, I have some bad news- Blizzard just made CRACK AND REESE FOR BREAKFAST with the launch of the Wrath of the Lich King Expansion . The expansion isn't meant for everyone, it's a pack which at it's heart is designed for longtime Blizzard pushers who've got their level 70s and suddenly found out "shit, the game has an end. bugger." Not anymore, with a new continent, new classes, new mounts, new graphics, and most of all, another reason to re-open accounts with Blizzard after you quit 3 years ago after they nerfed the pallies or what the fuck ever. If you're on the WoW-steroids, by all means, go get your next fix. IF you're not, STAY THE FUCK OUT, I promise you I will start giving money to people if they swear on their life they will never play that game. Someday.

Oh, the new Need For Speed game. I feel I should mention it.. being a ..game... and all, and I know certain people do enjoy fast cars that handle pseudo-realistically. Need for Speed: Underground is looking, as all previous holders in the franchise have, shiny and awesome. There is an Aston Martin Vanquish in it, and that's enough of a draw card for me to at least look at the back of the box when it comes out in the next month.


Now, a bit more meat,I've managed to play myself a few dozen hours of the CODWAW Multiplayer Beta. I suppose what some of you want to know about the New call of Duty Game (World at War) - is it any good in multiplayer? As you've all no doubt guessed, the return to World War 2 means you'd be assuming that a lot of that modern-day cutting edge tech that you got to hoist around in COD4 is gone, right? Wrong, sorta.

The good -
The game's mechanics are much more inline with COD4's brilliantly slick setup (the XP system, attachments, unlocks, achievements, the whole lot). These mechanisms have been expanded on and tweaked to fit WW2. 65 Levels to gain, with 3 levels of Prestige mode ( a feature that was dumped from the PC version of COD4).
Some of the attachment unlocks are pretty clever. For example, Bayonets, Bipods, Sniper Scopes and Flash Hiders. For all of you Bolt-action fans, you'll be damn pleased that there are 6 of them, and by default come without scopes. Some of the new perks are pretty cool, and the replacements for UAV, Airstrikes and Helicopters are pretty clever. Dogs instead of Helo in my books is always a nice trade off. The game overall is quite balanced.And it sounds and looks nice.

The bad -
Aperture sights from a technical and historical perspective are a fucking joke. not a single army put those things into wide enough adoption that they even warrant a footnote on the battlefield. But no, they're in, instead of the red-dot sights ( because god forbid that modern technology have one up on WW2).
Of the 3 maps, I could really only claim 1 as decent for playing any sort of game in, and that's fort. The other two maps in the Beta were iffy. Makin has some serious performance issues on one end of it, and has really iffy amounts of cover over far too many routes between places. There are a few nice spots to camp and counter-camp, but it's just so damn indecisive. In short, the layout is CRAP. Roundhouse is worse. Its a sniper heaven, with cover only around the edges, and two spots in the middle. everything else is basically turned over to flat ground to allow the biggest wet blanket for deathmatch ever, the TANKS, to roll around.
Which brings me to tanks- They're really quite an odd inclusion in the multiplayer. They're bloody powerful , bloody slow, in the hands of an idiot they can roll a spawn point faster and more efficiently than just airstriking spawnpoints. On the counter, there are more then enough ways to take them out, and a couple of shots from a Bazooka or Sticky Nades should take one out more than happily.They make good mobile cover though, so they do have that for them. But I still don't see the point of them in the game. in the space needed to allow for them, they could have easily made more cover, and just solidified the damn infantry experience than bother with the damn laggy things.I suppose what I'm saying is that Treyarch's map designers are a bunch of crazy spazzers.

The Ugly- Nothing really. War itself is pretty ugly, and I think even in the MP beta, that comes across well. It's not as visceral in MP as,say, Far Cry 2 is, but hey, nothings perfect. If you yearn for your bolt action rifles again, World at war is your only friend from now until you unlock the Mosin Nagant.

The Verdict- it's good enough, I hope that most of the maps they put in the retail package are at least OF the standard of Fort (the one map I found adequate), and at the worst, being an improved Makin. Everything else is pretty good, some glaring history issues aside. Should be a good shoot.

Coming up next in my Bilbo Bloggins - I Review Far Cry 2 and kick some people in the nuts. Should be a good one, peace out.

Toadie reviews - Code Geass - Lelouch of the Rebellion Season 1 (or How I learned about the Spaghetti people.. oh crap.)

Sometimes there are shows or games that I really don't know what to make of. QED, the harrowing tale of Lelouch vi Brittania and his single-minded quest to overthrow the empire that bears his family name.

As the story goes, the Britannia empire, which is apparently full of power hungry crazies, decides they want to take over the world again (see Colonialism), and successfully does so, annexing the entire of Europe and continental Asia, as well as Japan(not without a fight, but the walking "knightmare frame" mechs they have do kinda of make it one sided). This is where the fun begins. The Area formerly known as Japan is known as Area 11, and all of Japan's former citizens are forced into slum-like housing and conditions, while the new overclass live it up with opulent style and safety (think Dickensian era class struggle difference between the two lots of people).

Lelouch lives an almost double life. Having had his mother killed by his father(at least that's who he suspects planned it), he removed himself from association with his family and all chances to take throne of Britannia as default heir, and escaped to Jap..sorry, Area 11 to plot his revenge. Years later, he and his mentally scarred-so-now-she-keeps-her-eyes-closed younger sister Nunally are living and being taught at the Ashton academy, being looked after by the Ashton family, under the assumed names of Lelouch and Nunally Lamperouge.

Turns out, Lelouch is somewhat of a master tactician. During his lunch breaks, he and his lap-dog best friend Rival escape on a sidecar to dual some of the best minds in the empire at Chess. On the return from one of these chess getaways, Lelouch gets caught up in a vehicle hijack by some Nippon liberation front type people (they get bumper shunted by a semi trailer that's been nicked from a Brittanian research facility), Lelouch gets all messed up in their escape, is accidentally targeted as being one of them. While on the lamb in this small crisis he discovers two things - firstly, his childhood friend Suzaku (who is the son of the former Prime Minister of Japan), and secondly, that what the terrorists stole, wasn't in fact the Poison Gas WMD they thought it was (or rather its hard to explain what it really IS). Instead, it's a Green-haired girl (later revealed to be named C.C (pronounced Shizu)) that has the power to give special almost magical powers (called Geass). Suzaku gets shot for disobeying an order to shoot Lelouch( he gets better), and Lelouch and CC escape, to find the true face of Britannia, mass-murdering shock troops willing to destroy entire cities to suppress an opposing view or to cover up things they don't want seen. He binds a contract with CC and she gives him a Geass power, the power to unwaveringly command people he makes eye contact with. From this point, Lelouch begins his anti-Britannia campaign, starting with the ordered suicide of the squad which caught him.

He takes on another alter-ego as Zero, leader of the Black Knights, a highly organised force of people who want the destruction of the Britannia empire. Of course, this is intermixed with his high school life and on more than one occasion through the season he has hi jinx which almost spell his true identity being revealed.

TL;DR - Lelouch becomes Osama bin Laden, only more successful.

The show is highly schizophrenic in it's direction. First it plays the high school card, then it plays the Byronic hero card, the LOYALTY card, the FAMILY Card, Jesus it plays almost a new card every episode, it's that mind-numbingly complex. The show has so many bloody characters too, 4 real primary ones, and about 20 secondary, and maybe another 30 supporting. The fact they try to give them all a fair dose of airtime doesn't help it. You know what? Thank bloody god the main story arc is rigid enough to keep it mostly in order, or this would be a real mess. To Sunrise's credit, largely they pull off most of the stuff they pull works enough to not be something to bitch about, if at times it really does seem quite off the wall.

The Characterising is a pretty large part of everything in CG, and for the most part the characters are all individual. Lelouch is a Byronic anti-hero with a heart of ice, who I found I really didn't like much. Suzaku is full of love, Gottwald is full of LOYALTY, and Euphemia is full of innocence. the characters get their motif across fairly transparently, and you don't need to wonder too hard about if they're hiding something.


Now to get into the technicals of the show.
The character art is HIGHLY stylised, with most character proportions easily defined as Noodle people. That isn't to say it's bad, but they are quite narrow and thin, with LONG arms. The animation is pretty good, with a fair few scenes with quite high frame counts (inversely, there are a few where they did just did a 2-frame talking heads thing).
Colour is vibrant, and I'm especially liking the royal purple color + crests and laurels they've given as the livery for the Britannia empire. It works, and isn't too far off the real world's British royal family livery.
Visuals overall are pretty good, but nothing that really breaks away from the norm.

To the audio side of things, it's a bit of a mixed bag. Some of the effects are pretty nice and well mixed, but some of it (like some of the gunshots) seem really piss weak by comparison. The soundtrack's not bad though, and however the first intro ( Colors by Flow) was so out of context and catchy that it became one of 3 big memes that came out of the entire Code Geass. JIBUN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The voice casting was somewhat more optimistically done, and by and large, it's all good with Jun Fukuyama as Lelouch, a few other names as other characters, and NORIO WAKAMOTO as the Emperor of Britannia.

If you are all about mechs, terrorism, Pizza Hut or deep,broad and complex stories, CG is for you. If you're not too keen on any of that, I recommend a return to normalcy and to pretty much go do something else.

Interblog update

Current mood - WHaaaaaat ._______.
Currently activity - using all my strength to NOT play FarCry2.Must not play... too short on time right now....
Currently watching - Strike Witches. Why does not one female in this show wear PANTS?! I'm thoroughly bemused by it. Bemused, but not really complaining. Hey, I didn't write the show, I have no right to. Actually, if you pretend to ignore the blatent lolicon fanservicing, the show's quite an awesome twist on both history and ..witches...
Currently Playing - Far Cry 2 - the game is.. jsut wow. I don't think I've played a game this enticing since I picked up Duke Nukem 3D some 10 years ago. Not kidding, I love this game too much, it's a challenge to not play it round the clock.Needless to say, there will be a review of this shit once I finish off the main campaign at least ONCE.

Coming up next- I review Code Geass : Lelouch of the Rebellion without using the phrase "noodle people".

Peace out for a bit
Toadie

Kawaii kawaii desu *hurk* *death*

It's official folks, there is now an International Saimoe League... and Voting opened today for it.
For those not in the know, Saimoe is THE competitive popularity contest. A competitition, oddly enough, for the most Moe character. If you're feeling guff enough for some hardcore radio button selection, head over to http://http://www.internationalsaimoe.com and put down some votes. Admittedly, the international flavour one has  been streamlined down a shit tonne from all the varius regional and .jp ones, but it really keeps it sweet. Currently on round three is Konata Izumi vs Tomoyo Sakagami and C.C. and Kotomi Ichinose. I urge people to vote AWAY from the Clannad towards the others (they don't call it CLANNAIDS for a reason, though apparently After Story isn't 1/2 bad).

With that little poke over, let's get onto some real meat and cookies business. Yes, meat and cookies. Because I said so, no YOU SHUT UP.
October delivers quite a lot of things anually. For me, it's hayfever. For stores, Christmas season preparations. For game publishers, it's release fever. This year, it's at pitch with quite literally a few truckloads of titles rolling out the door in the next 6 weeks. Key ones I'm eagerly anticipating listed and categorised below -

Quantum of Solace (007) (actually released now) - it has been a long time since there has been a good bond game. Really, most of them since The World is not Enough for N64 have been really poor attempts to cash-into the franchise. This, combined with the reinvented Bond in with the face of Daniel Craig at the head and Treyarch developing the game itself on the COD4 engine, it really does seem to be quite promising. Oh and a Bond vs everyone else multiplayer mode, looks fun.
Video trailer link - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/41480.html

FarCry 2- NOT made by Crytek, DOESN'T involve islands or tunnel maze bases within, all sorts of Sandbox-y type stuff and AFRICA to enjoy... Built-in/ingame map maker/editor, propogated fire, actual damage and shit. What is NOT to like about this game? Nothing. It should be pretty fricking awesome. Enough to make me want to switch to modding the shit out of it? maybe, if there's an SDK after release.. I may consider it.
Video trailer link - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/41569.html

Halo Wars - Alright, I don't own a 360, but I love the world Bungie made for it's franchise, and this RTS looks to stick pretty happily to it. Looks like it plays like Age of Mythology on console with Halo stuff. MAC strikes and shit ftw.
Video trailer link - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/40830.html


COD World at War - Co-op, COD4-like stuff going on,Iwo Jima, NO Normandy crap,  Treyarch's decent eye for detail and awesome shit.. and instead of Helicopters, you get ATTACK DOGS. ATTACK DOGS. Bayonets in the same way the COD4 had Grenade Launchers. Rifle Grenades.  Gas and Gas Masks. This has got it GOING ON.
Video trailer link - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/36249.html

Mirrors Edge - Before they were even showing off the gameplay I was already loving this game. First thing I saw- they threw out alot of the First Person Shooter's archetyping in both art style, design and story. A clean and bright world with a sinister edge, a hero that's forced to live on the fringe, and more imprtantly ,a female lead who doesn't have a body that doesn't scream "I am a supermodel. OHOHOHOHO WHY NOT WHORE OURSELVES". It was almost felt eastern in intent and theme (avoiding using the phrase anime-like, because it's a bad descriptor and not strictly accurate.) Gameplay footage started coming out and it just kept going on that trend-bucking crap, and now it's loooking quite impressive from both an art and deisng angle, a conceptual angle and an overal game package. This should be a must get because it's pretty fresh and out there, enough so that it's really turning heads in a good way.
Video trailer link - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/36249.html

Tom Clancy's EndWar - Not a big fan of some of the newer Tom Clancy spinoff franchises ( Hawx and the later Splinter Cell games notably), However, despite the deavy stylising, End War looks pretty interesting. I'm always a bit tenuous about "red dawn" style RTSes (mainly because the CnC games pretty much shat on THAT), but it looks pretty nice, perhaps like Word in Conflict, without the 1980s.
Video trailer link - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/34525.html

Hatsune Miku: Project Diva - Had I a PSP to import games for onto... english breaking down...  THis game would be on my import list? Why? 1)Hatsune Miku , 2) Rhythm games, great for handhelds (unlike FPSes) 3) excellent and FAAABULOUS graphics.
Video trailer link - http://www.gametrailers.com/player/41457.html

Oh and Left4Dead. I forgot about that. No trailers needed, it's zombie coop by Turtle Rock and Valve.

I predict that I'll probably only be geting maybe one or two of these games on release though, thankyou very much financial crisises killing the AUD's value again. The rest, well we'll see, probably trail purchases over the "holiday season".

Oh while I'm here soaboxing again, I feel it's time to announce to all those not in my "loop"

I will be moving to Montreal, Canada (pronounced Konata for some lollery) next year as part of a ... thing. I can't say much now, I'm pretty bound by the NDA that I verbally agreed to. What I can tell you though is it's full of win. I will be part of making WIN. and you will rejoice at said winning. So yeah, that shit is bananas.

On a side not, having flu-aids sucks, 'cause immediately after I got over last weekend's misery and depression, bam, straight into a nasty 3-phaser of a flu. Currently on the 3rd stage now. ON the plus side, all upper registers of my voice get shot everytime I get one of these bloody things, so I'm forced to speak in low, growly tones, and I usually throwin some accent for effect. Fun times, I can tune my voice a bit more.

.... dozo?

I suppose I'm a bit spoiled for inspiration sometimes when it comes to anything, but there are days when my brain literally takes a vacation. Truth be told, it's more often than not lately. Partly I think it's a bit of trying too hard to try and come up with stuff (thus exhausting thus precious reserves of creativity faster), partly.. I dunno, I think I've hitting somewhat of a slump.

Today's pretty much the peak of it. It's frustrtating, because it leaks all over everything else going on today. I've had a pretty crapp day overall for no obvious reason other than I've hit a wall.

So to top off, here's my great list of things I've done in a lackluster mood -
1) washing, cleaning, the usual preparation for summer in the house (switching rooms around to get in some of the delicious afternoon sun)
2) started modelling ,realised it was crap, deleted it, started again, finshed, realised it was crap, got rid of it, closed 3ds max. Did not open again
3) had an attempt at lining and coloruing some art. Was craptastic, deleted the work

4)watched Season 4 of NCIS and Hayate Combat butler in a perfect one-then-the-other sequence.Then continued watching mroe Hayate.

5) went for two walks, one in the afternoon, to clear my head and other and 9pm because I enjoy the solitude of where I live well after everybody's home safe.. and to clear my head.


I mknow, fatastic day, right? Absoultely. I know I made myself somewhat of a promise nto to screw around and post "Dear Diary", but today's been so memorably flat, that it deserves the notariety.

This is the lonely, depressed and uninspired Toadie ,signing out.

Obl. Start of month post.

Two words for the month - Norio Wakamoto.
THe man is a voice acting god. That is all.
Q.E.D.

Crysis Wakamoto Suit

Believe in the review that believes in you - Tenga Toppen Gurren Lagann

Before I begin this shamozzle, I'd like to apologise beforehand that I didn't deliver on my word that I'd put out 5 pieces of content in a week. Turns out I'm a little less caring about my blog than I am most other things, and I thought I could keep the pace. For whatever reason I can't ,so it wasn't a week of delicious media. Instead, it'll be more like a 3 week-er. Not that anyone cares or listens. Anyway.

Today I'm going to talk about my thoughts on Gurren Lagann (Tenga Toppen Gurren Lagann, to use the full name of the series). To get it out of the way, GL is the current darling child of Gainax (known probably most popularly by their first series, Neon Genesis Evangelion), not to mention without doubt the biggest anime series of 2007, with the DVDs coming out as we speak for the English Dubbed world outside Japan. With such things being thrown around not only major anime news syndicates and forums, but /a/ also, I felt it was time to dig my feet into the murky waters of the genre of mecha shows. Going by my previous sentence, please understand that I do not traditionally enjoy Mecha shows and for 3 reasons -

1) they're horribly formulaic (yes this IS coming from someone who enjoys slice of life shows, but hey, I'm not claiming I'm not hypocritical)

2) There is a tendency for Mecha's to throw a badly veiled pretenses that is almost always some religious theme or Yu-gi-oh esque "you can change the world" crap that appeals to even the children

3) Two Words - Shinji Ikari. Shinji fucking Ikari.

Indeed my perceptions were to be blown away. Gurren Lagann is the story of Simon (pronounced she-mohn for integrity of Japanese phonetics) and his.. mecha. There's no way to avoid it, but like a gigantic elephant, it's a mecha show, and largely the mechas do take center stage when their time comes. Basically the story goes as this -
The world as we know it no longer exists. long ago, humanity forced underground to survive, the surface forgotten.Simon is a driller, drills holes to extend his village's size. His was a meager piece in life, until one day his best friend cum brother Kamina (who is, for the record, QUITE awesome and epic) hatches a crazy plot to head for the surface. The plot fails but then suddenly the roof opens up and a gigantic robotic head falls through. While this was happening, Simoun discovers a glowing head in one of his drillings. He, Kamina and the newly revealed hot gun babe Yoko go on a great adventure that sets it's sights on the impossible, and to kick reason to the kerb. On these notes, Gurren Lagann delivers.The overall story for the two released seasons so far can be broken into two arcs of story: Kamina and Nia. The Kamina arc is a display of Simon's progress from timid nobody to a super-power-toppling hero whom is modelled after the arc's namesake, Where the Nia arc is more of Simon understanding his own destiny beyond his own being (it's a bit more deeper than the first arc, so all you DEEP fans will just lap it up)... also BIG ROBOTS.

The show's progress is entirely linear. While some could perceive this as a bad thing and believe me there are detractors, I don't see it as so much. The show finds a pace, sticks to it and doesn't need that shitty filler that made Ergo Proxy go from quite majorly NEAT to filler 1/2.

Now onto the gears and bolts.
The Character portrayal in the show is excellent, from excellent designs and bold poses with a style to match, to excellent voice acting. It all comes together as a piece of excellent quality stuff. There are a couple of episodes I would like to add that did suffer from QUALITY (QUALITY being the actual absence of it), particularly I think it was ep 6 or 7, which looked very much like they very done by the replacement art department. Otherwise, Bold animation, bold colours, bolt art period. Kinda a reoccurring theme here. The show is bold.

Actually, you know what? That's what I like about it- it's bold, it holds no punches, makes all the right moves and doesn't like to settle with mild or deep. It is so successful at being itself, it's amazing. It is just awesome. Now for a bit of a outside view .
My former sidekick in crime, a Jim lad, when presented with the show gave some of the most interesting comments -
"No real plot"
"weak overall"
"not really that good"
After a long and lengthy conversation to try and convince him that he's not looking at a show that is Suzuka, where everything is pretentious and attempts to be realistic (where Gurren clearly isn't trying to be pretentious or realistic). Then I realised that he's part right.
The plot isn't something that is given to you as a bundle package at the start which only grows a little.. it's more simple than that. They give you a small plot that expands almost exponentially as the show continues. It's handy because the show isn't one that's targeted at literary geniuses, so getting all deep too early would have killed it. Anyway, who's he to talk about plot when he writes fantasy fiction about a guy with who's a part dragon,part vampire, part ranger mage who's got a serious amnesia plot device, and some sidekicks with names that do not consistently follow any one rule of pronunciation consistently. He got a whack over the head for pretending to be a lit fag, and I moved on to ignoring him, all is better. Moving on.

The show is a serious positive energy feed loop that doesn't step back from the plate at all. Holds no bars for plot and style, and let's face it, the end Battle is just too goddamn awesome. Using Galaxies as THROWING WEAPONS in a MECH THE SIZE OF A REALLY BIG GALAXY, POWERED BY HUMAN SPIRIT. How is that not awesome?

Overall, I loved the show, and I'm pretty happy to give this thing a definite recommendation. If I HAD to give it a score, it'd be like 9.5 (-0.5 for the crappy quality episode), however, I won't give it 9.5. Moot, in all his absolute corrupting wisdom, decided to stick up some Gurren Lagann in /b/ recently, which resulted in every OTHER board in 4chan flooded by shit-munchers, and thus entering /b/ and the internet's memeflow. So, I will give it MINUS 9.5 because moot took it and ruined it. What a dick.

Who am I? A review of Alone in the Dark

Uusually I'm quite upfront if something doesn't erach a certain level of quality ,and I'm not afraid to bust chops if there is serious beefs to be had. However, with games like Alone in the Dark, I am somewhat miffed about what to say about it. On one hand they are really trying to innovate, but there are gaping issues to be had. Let's start at the beginning of this paradoxical game.

The game is somehwat of a bridge of old and new for Alone in the Dark. It starts with you,some yet to be identified amnesiac meatbag waking up about to be shot and tossed off a building. However, osme shit happens, something to do with walls and floors full of live cracks that suck people in and spit out monstrosities that want human blood... so a slight twist on that horror cliche.. oh and the building's on fire and collapsing. As you go along you learn that you are Edward Carnby of the original Alone in the Dark fame. How'd you get in to modern day New York, and why do you look so MANLY without your muttonchops? needless to say the story's decent enough in that exists, and to me was satisfying enough that I didn't do what I did when I played FEAR(which was round in full lols mode).there are a couple of plot-driven spots in the game which ARE tedious, but they're more mechanics than actual plot. Anyhoo, all you need to know is it's a solid plot, it'll get you from A-B.

The graphics are very nice, I will be the first to admit. heck, They were so nice they forced me down from maximum res and settings on my surday reliable PC Cassidy. What I do like is the stark world they've created around the location of Central Park. You've got this safe and familiar place, which at night becomes just that little bit creepier, then thrown all over place are these bits of evil sprouting it's ugly face. And then there's the creepy enemies you face, all tweaked on acid.

So the game's a visual smorgasbord, what could be wrong? It's certainly not the sounds or voiceovers. Plenty of Charisma in both, and especially in the soundtrack. The soundtrack is guaranteedly delicious, with an interesting twist on classical horror suite by throwing into the fray some delicous choral vocals. In short, sound isn't it.

And innovative gameplay isn't a problem.. an awesome fire propogation system and lights system that combined with a KKND-style mix'n'match inventory makes for a powerfully flexible system of delivering death.

I think where Alone in the Dark really takes a thrashing from everyone is the controls. Sadly, I'm inclined to agree. This game is so very fresh as an experience, but the controls are a complete mindfuck to understand sometimes. Getting onto a rope is fine.. and I can sort of understand their choice to have a Use and "un-use" kinda button, they make sense.... BUT WHY IN GOD'S NAME is there a Jump off rope button, and WHY is it on the other side of the keyboard from everything else?! That was a fucking stupid move there. furthermore, the movement is clumsy, and the free-position melee position, despite being really neat in concept, resulted in more agony that felt only a hijack shot of playing Touhou.Once you get your head around the bizzarre french controls though, the game makes a bit more sense. you just have to sort of play the game rather than let the game play you. But yes, big letdown in controls. They're crap and they should feel ashamed.

Overally, I don't think that just bad controls were enough to stop me enjoying an otherwise entertaining game, though they did really test me sometimes. For that, I can't say that I LOVE this game and to reccommend it for everyone because it's awesome.. I will reccommend for everyone to play it to see what they think. No doubt they'll come to a similar to the conclusion I'm about to make.

The Game has it's heart set in the right place, and everything works well enough most of the time, but there are serious control issies and implementation things that I just cannot ignore.

Internet and the technicolor dream hood

I have a long history of experience with the internet, it's trolling and memeing, all sorts of nuances. Among the time I've spent on it in the last few years, I can, depending on whom I'm talking to, either contritely admit or proudly claim to have hung around 4chan alot. Before I hunker down to dodge the plentiful jeers I'm sure to recieve for that statement, allow me to qualify and quantify it.

I have for a long time been a being that has amalgamated internet community, mainly due to the diminished I feel from being part of it rather than a real life counterpart. 4chan was more than ready accept my niche attitude to everything, along with my nerdy fail at life attitude and ugly pumpkin head. Not only that, but the site was and still is, aside from images, relatively low bandwidth, which made trips through it fairly easy in the last few days of my dialup connection.
Originally I tended to stick to what was comfortable... which was mostly /b/ and /a/ at the time.Before I continue, I'd like you all to note I had and to some degree still have confidence issues,which stem from a few places (miserable school life being one of them), and my life seemed pretty dead-end at around the time I starting getting into 4chan (approx 4 years ago). Of course not long after this (approx early-mid 2005)I switched into the Hawk's Workshop.I'm sure most of you are PROBABLY aware of how much free time I had there, it was quite a bit.
Hence, my 4chan browsing increased dramatically. Like maybe 4 or 5 fold. This sorta stayed the norm for about 2 years until I left there. My 4chan addiction died off a little as of the start of this year (too busy with other stuff), so I really only stick around my core places.

Now as to the why I've hung around and it really isn't that complicated... You can glean some awesome comedy off the place when the iron is hot, the place is more accepting that just about EVERY other web forum out there. Except for blacks, 4chan haet black. Not only that, but under the almost paradoxical nature of the place sometimes, I can't help but feel there are some truely intelligent people on there. Sure, the real trick to 4chan is not to fall into the cesspit(s) that is /b/ or /r9k/ to avoid the real shit, but everywhere else, you'll probably find some intelligent life.
Which comes to my next point- newfags.
They really are the bane of my real world existance. Seriously, the number of dicks that I've met in the last 9 months who claim to be oldfags about 4chan. One especially bitches about overuse of epic and it's redundancy.. .which is a view I view I agree with, but to make it in the fashion he does, you know, excuding all his power levels to get his point across... it's excessively flamboyant and grinding on my core belief that the 4chan was something that you kept to your computer, or to yourself., not something you go flagging around. No, this wasn't all about power levels, this is about soiling a perception.
The same is true for just about every "4channer" I've met in the last 9 months- they soil the experience with their EFG masks, project Chanology(though a meritous projeect, I still hate that it is still linked closely to 4chan rather than branching off and growing). To add to addinjury to insult, thanks to the massive never-ending newfag summer of 2008, it's been grating more. So much so, that a few months ago, I gave it up entirely for a month and a half. I jsut got back into it in the last few weeks, and it seems that the summer is now starting to slow down, but alot of the big name tripcoders have vamoosed, which is a shame. *sigh*

So yes, I'm a *grits teeth* 4channer. I prefer the terms /a/non or /k/ommando to the former though, becuased they actually lug me in where I belong, rather than the generic umbrella. Don't mess with me 'cause I was there before they invented hacker-proof curtains.

Coming up next week - Tri.. I mean..Quadruple Review !

Alone in the Dark
Tenga Toppen Gurren Lagann
Seto no Hanayome
and the Wacom Bamboo.

Review Intersped with live commentary of current series[in brackets] - Paranoia Agent

Before you all get your conspiracy hats on before we begin I'd like to give a parental advisory about this show- it will fuck with your children's minds. Also, never lie to your kids about things like them killing the pets by negligence- it can lead to some quite disturbing things in the future.

Okay with the RSAC done, let's get down to business. In the great Japanese tradition of making your mind turn to jelly comprehending exactly what is going on, Paranoia Agent takes a few pages from Serial Experiment:Lain then decides " ah screw it", and then just starts having warm,lustful lovemaking with it.. if that's given you a mental image that no amount of mind bleach can shift, then there is the true result of paranoia agent, and it has won.

Paranoia Agent starts off very much on the right foot for a mind fuck with an intro that seems innocent, but has such an unnerving and disturbing edge that I never really got over. It's set in a world that is heavily modelled off reality (and in fact may as well be, up until.. the end), and it starts off with an overworked young character designer getting whacked in a dark by the elusive Bat Boy. The series follow.. no not follows.. it goes around the people surrounding the case, and the serial of other cases following.

I won't beat around the bush, the show will probably lose you around one of it's MANY contextual and senory meanderings, that much is certain. The plot is almost liquid, it expands from the single case outward at an inpressive rate for a 13 episode show. Characters range from being fairly average, to fairly awesome, and there are a lot of messed people that you meet. It really was quite interesting the lady with bipolar and her two sides fought, the cop who stole to keep himself out of debt, and all sorts in between, they were well written animated and presented.

This leads me to the more technical aspects of the series. Character animation was superb and fluid, not to menation detailed, then there were times the polar opposite deliberately and those too were well executed. Backgrounds are the high standard you'd expect from Madhouse, and all other effects are polished to a sheen. Music and Sound is all great, and the voice actors were cast excelently.

In short, get it. If you like mindscrews, get it. If you on't like mindscrews, get it, and then learn to like mindscrews. If you enjoyed Lain, GET IT NOW. GET It, it 's worth it's weight in psychology books.

METAL GEAR?!

Yes, I know, it's a horrible horrible cliche that just wants to make you gouge your eyes out, save someone doing it for you. I especially hate this particular cliche, because it's pretentious wankery of the highest degree that assume that all things can be given solid definitions., and that they will
be consistent from one case to the next. More on "Useless is..." later. Onto the news I give a crap about. Much like the news section of Top Gear, it's more of a brief and coloured version.

First off - The prologue to S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Shadow of Chernobyl, S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Clear Skies, is looking to be a deliciously tasty treat if you can run it, or have been lavishly enjoying the first game like myself. No, I shit you not, it seems they've finally rounded off the X-Ray engine with some this generation tech (not 2003-4 era tech). Dynamic Soft Shadows, Rain shadow mapping, improved weather (or rather.. deteriorating weather), dynamic GOD RAYS, and a whole tonne of the deteriorated concrete mixed with wilderness that is the defining visual facett to the original game. It's not just the visuals being updated, with the vaunted ALife AI getting some improvement, and giving some sorely needed improvement to the weapon upgrade system and making cash WORTH something(probably one of the original's weak points), and more of that unique blend of linear progression and free-roaming world that makes STALKER the radioactive Animal Crossing it is. It's coming in August, so keep some dosh aside for that Vista DX10 powerbox and this to get some seriously pleasing SinglePlayer MMO action.

Duke Nukem Forever.. does anybody remember it? Remember Broussard making claims similar "the year you see Screenshots and Videos coming out for DNF is the year we're looking to release it" ? Of course you don't, you're probably not as bent as I was several years ago on being a 3DRealms Forum-ite. Anyway, he's gone on the record saying that. Last year november, we got some screenshots(three), and this year, we have a shakycam video slash interview. What does this mean? I FUCKING CALLED IT,thats what it means. Now, we've heard nothing official about a release date (much in the same way the first few videos of Half-life 2 were unconfirmed for a date), BUT, if we're to use my Broussardian rule of thumb, I call Christmas 08, or Easter 09. As of the video, there's not a whole lot you can make out about actual gameplay, but the HUD looks interesting(a little large, but that jsut may be my taste), and it appears a shrink ray is back in and on the cards. So far, NOT a failure.

Metal Gear Solid 4- I'm sure if you're not an AVID Metal Gear or Playstation fanatic, you've already missed the first 3 of the MGS games. Do not blame you for the blind eye that's being pulled there, but once you're into the series, it is a truly a hook. Hideo Kojima is a bit of a unusual designer in many senses, he developed in one fell swoop the Stealth Action genre way back in 1987 with Metal Gear 1, made a pioneeringly awesome Zone of Enders franchise, and has a kooky sense of humor which seeps through in most of his games. Starting with Metal Gear Solid he really did strike some serious gold reviving the Metal Gear franchise ( As Metal Gear Solid 1). Intense Stealth Action, DEEP Storyline with interweaving literary arcs that cross between Science Fiction, Mecha fanboy-ism and hardcore military authenticity, and more or less flawless artistic direction. To cut the long story short, MGS4 promises to be more of the same with a wh0le lot more bolted in for god measurement. Rumors are that there are a couple of 90 MINUTE custscenes in the game, along with a decently long game playtime makes this game... quite intensely filled. If you have a PS3, this game will be the one that defines WHY you chose a 1 grand black box for your next-gen console, so if you're NOT getting MGS4, I want to know WHY (Money gripes aside). I swear, if this game makes the jump to the PC, it'll be straight on here.

Moving on, erm... Let's talk music.Of recent, I've been looking for some more varied tastes in music, so with all things being circular in nature, I've been going through shoegazing electronica and other downeat and enjoyable musics from bother hemispheres of the world. On one side I've found myself some Imogen Heap (post Frou-Frou, keeps her melancholic voice though) and The Delgados (From Edinburgh, has some great Indie Rock from-the-north flavour), and on the other, I'm slowly piling up on Bonnie Pink and ORIGA (Most notably remembered in my books for her contributions to Ghost in the Shell 2, and both of the Stand Alone Complex Series ). As a direct result, I'm much more calm, and feeling much more artistic. Don't ask how it works, it just does, my mood is almost entirely swayed by what I'm listening to alone.

So, I thought I'd show off some of the freelance work I'm playing with at the moment. you should see.. some pictures.. around here.. somewhere...
Anyway, ignore the slightly manly, mostly unstarted head on the lady, that will be completed with time, and the Opel is going to be for HL2 Ep2(replacing the Muscle Car), os I've gotta finish it, shear off the doors and make with the awesome.

I'll Never Be...

After accepting an insurmountable challenge to read through a 20 page "guys ask girls questions" thread on a not-to-be-named-forum, and only getting 14 pages into the infinite wall of text before reaching for the hammer to bash my head in (yes, ONLY 14), I have begun to ponder the great divide of the genders. Not only because I've been noticing the significant lack of pull I'm getting in creeps, but because the whole thing is just plain riddiculous enough to be "piffle"ed.

So, onto my view of this quandary. As a start, I think both sides have no idea what the other wants really at all, as proven entirely by about 5 or 6 pages of males and females arguing their all completely different angles. I mean, yes I would say that nearly 70% of all cross communication between the genres is entirely with the subconscious goal of putting your specific flavoured nectars into or onto a body of another equally specific nectars to result in one of the two parties involved pushing out a baby beemonster(I am of course referring to in a more social setting than any other goal-driven work setting), BUT there are people out there that are more interested in the path to the goal than goal itself... Which is really where more of the fun is to be had.

Second of all, I don't believe that the majority of the media promotes a healthy or positive mould for either gender to slip into. Let's use two generalised extremes to make this black and white, shall we? On one side we have supermodels, baleemic slash anorexic celebrities who go out and pollenate(in every sense of the word) and the sex-ifying of nearly everything (because as the addage "goes, sex sells", more than honesty and good prices ever have). On the opposing side we have both the Mysoginisticly MANLY man(a self image largely promoted by sports and masculine pursuits) and at the same time a polar opposite, the SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy... or sensitive guy), an image put forward mostly by a cartel of high power wealthy women to breed a generation of whipped guys to compliment their "liberation"(thanks in part or whole to the baby boomers "liberating" them). Neither side is very positivly reinforcing what should be the reality, and that is that both genders are probably a lot closer to each other than you'd think.

And genders are 100% guilty of supporting negative stereotypes also. Case in point - the whole "guys will only date bitches" and "girls only date bastards". Yes, there are cases of both, however it isn't as common as you'd wantto think. Probably. I dunno, it just doesn't seem logical to me that the number should be that high. And the reason both sides that DO go for the bastards or bitches generally tends to be as some "project" to turn them into something more in their mold, though if I've learned anything from my internet friends the result is the opposite and they break up anrgy and bitchy/bastardy. So no, people aren't crazy, they're just stupid. Plain vanilla stupid.

Now onto personalities - here's a shocker. Both coinsides like more or less the same thing as a baseline average. That is :
- Doesn't look like Igor
- Is interesting, or sounds like is interesting
- wants to protect/be protected (as a more complimentary thing, rather than a polar opposites)

As a more personal offisde to this, some of this I long suspected a while back. As such, for the past .. 7-8 months, I've being trying something I'd like to call... OPERATION IVY. My great plan - try to improve my (in my books) otherwise mediorce public image. Sure, interesting clothes I've been wearing was a nice start (wo DOESN'T Like patterned or hawaiian shirts?) but I felt I could do more. So, I've been on a nearly 100% pleasing bender, wringing out my social skills with all the aplomb of a 18 Wheeler hitting a brick wall. The result- I really need more caffeine and coffe to sustain me. Seriously, it almost seems far too much effort to be interesting alot of the time. The last fortnight ,thanks in part to being slightly broke while I'm on a gap between my last job and my new job, has been caffeine free, and I am not pleased to say, it's really SUCKED to get through. This, combined with some added pressure from inconsiderate group project members and a whole shitstorm of late niht typing. The result is that I have been quite exhausted for whole straight days, and all drive is gone. It really has felt sucky. Reading the thread mentioned at the start then drove me over the edge. "That's it - humanity sucks and I am the bone of my sword".

Then I get to the nails and mortar of the matter as to why it sucks, and it is the same reason at the start of year(or was it last year?), I'm a lonely gamer slash artist slash inept inturned mook. And unless I grow some serious cojones to do something as rash, as suggested in the thread, as going all out and just laying it on the table .. or playing a game of subtle grabass cat and mouse.
I'll never be the guy who has those kinda stones, so I guess I'll just have do what female anon does- shut up, browse /a/, and wait until god delivers another book of weird porn.

Chimps for Free

So its seems that another gigantic brand playoff is coming this year - Blizzard's StarCraft franchise versus EA(formerly Westwood Studio)'s Command and Conquer Franchise. Honestly, I don't realyl give a crap though, aside from 3 early Blizzard titles, I really don't have much love for either. I'm also not keen on their legions of unwavering fans, with both camps sharing some bizzare polarisation against each other. Really, it just comes down to hairsplitting and petty inbickering over two very similar franchsies. No, I'm deadly serious. Starcraft is just a re-art of Warcraft(the new sequal looks like WC3 meets Dawn of War, so no change there har de har), and the CnC Red Alert.. 3... looks like every single last previous one with a new engine and some more hammers and sickles.

I must admit, I've never really seen what people SEE in either Blizzard or the developers formerly Known as Westwood. In the early 90s, they released some neat games, but come the late 90s they all of a sudden start becoming corporate douchbags, releasing primarily ONE franchise that is so blunt and uninteresting to me that they may as well be selling thumbtack simulators. And when it comes down to it, the gameplay of both is so close that you may as well ask whether you prefer Shadowrun or stock Dungeon and Dragons ( not that I've much experience with either, but from what I do know.. )

So yes, Blizzard, EA slash Westwood slash EAstwood - "meh"
Starcraft 2- Resounding meh
CnC RA 3 - Resounding nyet. Also, shorten that stupid ananananacronyn.


In other news, Just picked up some more RBF, so I'm rockin out in the livin' room on a laptop. So far, wins.

First Comment! review Tiem!

Hoo-dawgie! First off I'd like to welcome new and old to my ranthole. What better way to start off than to get some of MY views on some sort of .. product... instead of the usual anime
TODAY

I present...

Soldier of Fortune:Payback (Australian Edition)

Now, SOFP is the apparent logical succesor to the original Soldier of Fortune series, under a new developer and different plotline. Yeah, I'm not entirely sure why they dumped Mullins and his badassery (perhaps something to do with making the plot more PC and party-line than what was before), but it seemed pretty silly in my books. so, you play as this mercenary for a further diluted apparition of the "The Shop" from the original games, and you must save the world and make with some payback for being betrayed during the first mission (sorry, but if I didn't spoil that, this whole game review thing would be ignoring the white elephant in the room). Okay, it's not a brilliant plot by any stretch of imagination, but really, you don't expect all THAT much from a game into it's 3rd installment.
For all it's vapid vagueness in the storyline, the game is fairly straight to the point in directing you everywhere, so no complaints about being lost in the occaisionally maze-like levels. The gameplay behind Payback is fairly standard FPS fare, with your typical arsenal of doom. What is different, apart fro mthe sheer number of attachments for some weapons, is weapon stances. Take for Example pistols- by default, pistols are a one-hand held deal, but press the magic button (also is the Grenade launcher button), and it switches to the much more real-world-accurate two-hand hold. it gives more accuracy, drops recoil ,but you can't sprint. It's actually handy, because it means not having to resort to some downright shitty "ironsights".

Level Designs are 100% linear shoot-em-all arenas, almost all the way through the game. That, combined with waypoints, make the game play fairly fluidly. To the deveopler's credit, for hte most part, the levels look pretty nice. Sure there are some ugly spots, but there are a lot of nice spots. Props there. And a good look at some opium fields(in a country I can only assume is Afghansitan, for real-world-grit). Oh, and there are decidedly boss-like boss fights. You know the kind, the ones where you only can damage it at certain points where the game decides you can. That kind. Not necessarily bad, but it does take a few points of reasonability out of it.

Onto detail art (characters, guns, etc). For the most, all the art in is solid, and I'd have to say that animation and character lists must have been high in their list of priorities, because both are pretty nice. Effects are aright, but I must admit, they're nothing you haven't seen before these days. HDR standard, same with soft shadowing.
You've heard the good,noe here's the skinny on the shit.
Controls are stiff at best, unresposive half the time at worst. Damage for weaponry is way off proportion for most of the weapons in the game, same for accuracy. Stealth is impossible. I mean, they give us the option to knife fuckers in the back, and equip silencers. Neither are worth a diddly-fuck if the AI will see you through walls, see you even if you turn or blink. It's a paradox, I swear to god.
Shooting enemies in the game feels like shooting paper targets. I'm serious, Thanks to the removal of the gore system in the AU version of the game, there is so very little tactile feedback from shooting, you may as well be shooting walls.
The Menu Interface was designed by a bunch of guys who just found photoshop for the first time, too. It's horrid, especially compared to SOF2, which was brilliant.
Also, the MP is SHIT. Not that i could play mind, there are no servers online, and you can't jsut run around the levels. Oh no, needs at least 1 other player to play, but lets face it, WHO else bought this game, apart from me?

Now, if we also compare SOFP's feature list to SOF2', you'll notice a significant downgrade from it's predecessor too, notably losing the random mission generator, GHOUL2 technology, and a few extra things that SOF2 had as niceties.
It is a shame really the the RMG went, because that weas truly clever and handy to have something like that, it really made the game replayable.

To sum up, SOF payback, I think, was a game that wanted to be mainstream and big bidget, but had none of either to back it up. THe result, some good intentions that were ufotunately not enough to make the game anything more than mediocre.
I gave it a Waffle Hut waffle out of Kitten.